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Humor |
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WE at the South Haven Rod & Gun Club do not endorse, only laugh at most humor! |
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Did you ever wonder what happened to the guy from Mad Magazine?? The answer is now available for ALL to see |
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Do you know this Hunter Safety graduate? |
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~A Dog's Uncanny Intuition~ Have you ever heard that a dog "knows" When an earthquake is about to hit? Have you ever heard that a dog can "sense" When a tornado is stirring up, even twenty miles away? Do you remember hearing that, before the December tsunami struck Southeast Asia, dogs started running frantically away from the seashore, at breakneck speed? I'm a firm believer that animals - especially dogs - have keen insights into the Truth. You can't tell me that dogs can't sense a potentially terrible disaster well in advance. They are incredible creatures! Simply said, a good ol' hound dog Just KNOWS when something isn't right … When impending doom is upon us . |
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To submit humor for consideration send all requests to shrgc@comcast.net |
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Jeff Foxworthy’s views on Michigan: If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Michigan If you’re proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because Pellston is the coldest spot in the nation, you might live in Michigan. If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Michigan . If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year, you might live in Michigan. If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don’t work there, you might live in Michigan. If your dad’s suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Michigan. If you have worn shorts and a coat at the same time, you might live in Michigan. If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Michigan . If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Michigan Part 2 - You know you’re a true MICHIGANIAN when………… 1. “Vacation” means going up north on I- 75. 2. You measure distance in hours. 3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once. 4. You often switch from “heat” to “A/C” in the same day. 5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching. 6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings). 7. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked. 8. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them. 9. You design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit. 10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow. 11. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction. 12. You can identify a southern or eastern accent. 13. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce. 14. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age. 15. Down South to you means Ohio 16 A brat is something you eat. 17. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole barn. 18. You go out to fish fry every Friday. 19. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost. 20. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car. 21. You find 0 degrees “a little chilly.” 22. You drink pop and bake with soda. 23. Your doctor tells you to drink Vernors and you know it’s not medicine. 24. You know what a Yooper is. 25. You think owning a Honda is Un American. 26 You know that UP is a place, not a direction 27. You know it’s possible to live in a thumb. 28. You understand that when visiting Detroit, the best thing to wear is a Kevlar vest. |
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Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House in D.C. One from New Jersey, another from Tennessee and the third, Florida. They go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Florida contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well", he says, "I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me." The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, "I can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100 profit for me." The New Jersey contractor doesn't measure or figure, but leans over to the White House official and whispers, "$2,700". The official, incredulous, says, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure. The New Jersey contractor whispers back, "$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence." "Done!", replies the government official. And that friends, is how it all works. |
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An elderly man suffered a massive heart attack. The family drove wildly to get him to the emergency room. After what seemed like a very long wait, the E.R. Doctor appeared, wearing his scrubs and a long face. Sadly, he said, "I'm afraid he is brain-dead, but his heart is still beating." "Oh, Dear God!!!" cried his wife, her hands clasped against her cheeks with shock. "We've never had a Democrat in the family before." |
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